Endings can be one of the most painful parts of life, and very often people either aren’t around or won’t give us the closure we need to “let go” of a relationship or situation. The fact of the matter is that we don’t have to have the participation of someone else to let go – we can create closure for ourselves when we need to.

One of the ways this can be done is through ritual. I am not suggesting that anyone needs to run out and become a Wiccan or anything of the sort (not that there’s anything wrong with Wiccans!) It’s just that there is a reason why ritual has been a part of human behavior in one form or another for all of history. It’s because it is comforting, and it can change our lives.

Here’s a short, easy ritual, to help you “let go” of a situation or relationship that you feel you are too attached to. Take a few moments to calm your mind. Put on music that is soft, and soothing. Picture the person in your minds eye that you wish to let go of, and visualize them surrounded by love and white light.

This can take anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes, as long as you like. Then light a candle -any candle. You don’t have to buy some sort of special healing candle: the important thing is the flame.

If you have a shallow dish nearby, one that is not flammable, you can take a piece of paper and write the person’s name down. (Or a phrase that is significant to you, such as “my relationship with Bob.”) take a few minutes to say to yourself, “I am now letting go of this connection.”

let that sink in for a moment, and then burn the paper.

A simple thing like this can truly make a difference to the energetic bonds between people. If you’re struggling to let go, give it a try.

Remember that we always have the answers we need…and you CAN let go, if you truly need to do so.

I hope this helps someone. Have you ever used a ritual like this?

This is one of the reasons why this website was created.  We see ourselves as “citizens of the world,” and we wanted to create a space where folks from a variety of cultures, geographic areas, and personal experiences, could share with each other whatever it is that they wished to share.  Whether that’s a recipe, a memory, or a current struggle, or an affiinity for plastic candy dispensers, we want to hear about it.

A church I once attended had a segment at each meeting called “Joys, Concerns, and Sorrows,” a period where anyone in the group could share anything that they felt would fall into any of those categories. Here at Sharing Circle, I would add also the very broad “meta” category of “Interesting Things.” Something doesn’t have to be a heavy duty or incredibly personal bit of good news to be worth sharing.

For instance, here is a website that I think can be incredibly interesting at times, it describes itself as an inter-ideological discussion group.  The United States seems to be incredibly polarized politically right now, as though there is no room for shades of gray for political opinion. How will that ever change if no one ever talks to each other outside of their ideological community?  So this site: http://swordscrossed.org/  aims to make a difference, as does Sharing Circle, although Sharing Circle is far from politically centered. In other words, we are interested in your butter tart recipes, too!  

Where do you go for a sense of community online? What communities would you recommend to others? In some ways, to my mind, sites like Facebook are not communities, they are more like communities within communities. Where’s yours?

Tom Lehrer

It is only because of my wonderful, well-informed husband that I ever even heard of Tom Lehrer – which is a shame, as Lehrer should be a “household name.” Even though Lehrer is an American, and one of those bona-fide genius types (he graduated from Harvard at 18 with a degree in math – and then finished his Master’s degree a year later)  and even though he is a prolific and hysterical lyricist and pianist who gained quite a degree of fame and success in the 1960’s and 70’s – I had never heard his name until fairly recently.  Very likely many of you don’t know him either.  So, I wanted to share an example of his funny- yet devastatingly “speaking truth to power” lyrics.  There are many  more songs of his,  and you’ll find many other lyrics and even videos of his performances online. His albums are still available as well.  I hope some of you will  look into his work, especially my fellow Americans. You may well be glad you did.  Some people, like Lehrer, saw clearly, years ago, the direction the US was (and probably is still) going.  Not only that, he surely kept his sense of humor in the face of it, which is sometimes more than I can muster. Without further ado – a song (with the introduction) that Lehrer performed about 1965.  As a side note, that was the year before my parents got married!  Note too that Lehrer was not bashing the Marines – he did spend time in the service, and I’m not bashing them either; my sister and brother in law are Marines! This song is a comment on our culture, not a  slam on the Marines!   Lehrer said:

“What with President Johnson practicing escalation on the Vietnamese and then the Dominican crisis on top of that it has been a nervous year –  and people have begun to feel like a Christian scientist with appendicitis. Fortunately in times of crisis just like this America always has this number one instrument of diplomacy to fall back on. Here’s a song about it.”

When someone makes a move
Of which we don’t approve,
Who is it that always intervenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,
They have their place, I guess,
But first –  send the Marines!

We’ll send them all we’ve got,
John Wayne and Randolph Scott,
Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
To the shores of Tripoli,
But not to Mississippoli,

What do we do? We send the Marines!
For might makes right,
And till they’ve seen the light,
They’ve got to be protected,
All their rights respected,
‘Till somebody we like can be elected.

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war,
They’d rather kill them off by peaceful means.
Stop calling it aggression,
O we hate that expression.
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo.
They love us everywhere we go,
So when in doubt,
Send the Marines!

The title of this song, of course, is “Send the Marines.” If you aren’t familiar with him, again, learn about what he did and who he is. (He’s still alive!) You’ll be glad you did. We need more people like Lehrer - people who are unafraid to publicly call ‘em as they see ‘em , as they say.  Interestingly, his greatest sucess in his performing heyday apparently was in the UK. The British are clearly much more comfortable with people who tell the truth about their countries, it seems to me, than Americans by and large are. Anyway… what other living ”truth speakers” do you think are under-recognized? I’d love to know….

However, lately, I’ve become mostly a very unapologetic film buff, and I’ve watched all or part of movies that many people wouldn’t touch with a barge pole:  up to and including, say, films like “Weasels Rip My Flesh” and “Ankle Biters.”  It’s important to know, though that movies don’t at all have to be big mega-budget Hollywood numbers to be deeply and seriously enjoyable.

If you restrain yourself to only watching things that come out of Mainstream Hollywood, you’ll be missing a great deal.  Mainstream Hollywood is, by nature, a least a bit cautious. They (usually, anyway) tend to cater to the lowest common denominator. You see, they are constrained by a need to make a profit. And when even a “small” Hollywood budget is in the tens of millions, that’s a lot of putting average people in theaters that they have to worry about.

The good news is, though, that you don’t only have to watch what mainstream studios and distributors are offering. There are a number of really excellent, innovative independent film producers out there. I’m going to touch on only a few… perhaps commentors can offer some more.

One of my latest favorites (in terms of a production ”house,”) is Isle of Man Films. I have seen a few of the films they’ve put out in recent years, and without exception, they are interesting, well-done, and worth seeing. Notably, and at the top of mind, there’s “Severance” (produced there in 2004) and “The Deaths Of Ian Stone,” (produced probably in 2007) but Isle of Man is one of many of the worthwhile smaller production houses.

Then, for those of you who are comfortable with life on the seamier (often much seamier) side, there’s Troma; this film house in NY has been producing crazy, low-budget films for 30 years now. (One of their best known may be “The Toxic Avenger.” I recently saw “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead” which was a true, unadulterated, definitely sick hoot.)

So… what indie houses do you enjoy? Is there one near where you live? I have heard a lot about “Bollywood” film (from India) but haven’t seen a title from there yet.

What’s the worst movie you ever saw? Was it a mainstream release?

Support independent film, music and art if and when you get the chance. The sensibility you save may be your own!

I have always loved traveling by car – even back then – so for me it was quite an adventure. Having driven to Dover (well, my father did anyway lol) we went on a car ferry to Calais and then the adventure started in earnest.

We were on the opposite side of the road of course (the UK drives on the left) so that was very different. Everything seemed so different, which is quite amazing when you think about it as France is only a few miles from the UK, but different it was.

We were headed for Paris and it was quite a drive as highways were still in their infancy but we eventually made it. Now for those of you who have never driven in Paris let me tell you a little about it. First off you need nerves of steel. Paris is not for the faint hearted. High speed and nobody gives an inch. Now bearing this in mind we got stopped by the police. For speeding. Ludicrous as we were undoubtedly the slowest car on the road. Everything, and I mean everything was overtaking us. But of course we had GB plates on. Fair game for all French cops apparently. Just as an aside anyone who intends driving through Quebec in canada will run the same risk. Anyway, my parents spoke very little French, the cop spoke very little English and we were let off with a warning after a bit of sarcasm about we were going so fast we most have been heading for the hospital.

Walking around Paris was an equally exciting experience. None of this give way to pedestrians crap. You took your life in your hands trying to cross a road. I don’t know if that’s changed nowadays but that was certainly the case back then.

Paris is a wonderful place to visit. Full of life and so much to see and do. We went up the Eiffel Tower – the elevator with all its noises and jerking was like something out of a horror movie. But we made it. The artists’ square was great and should be on anyone’s list to visit. The young talent was quite something. The Louvre of course. The Arc de Triomphe. Notre Dame. All wonderful places to visit.

But what was my strongest memory of Paris? That, strangely enough, was of the “pissoires.” Hmmm… I hear you think. Is that anything to do with… well, pissing? It certainly is. Or was. I believe they’re all gone now. But back then Paris had open air toilets on the street known as les pissoires. These were stalls set in the pavement (sidewalk for my American friends) and as you stood at the urinal you could see all the passers by and they could see you. If you were one of those people who had trouble peeing when somebody was watching you were in deep trouble! And everybody accepted this as perfectly normal.

Like all holidays we eventually had to go home and so we returned to Calais via a couple of towns whose name escapes me all these years later. We were visiting relatives. But that’s a different story really as this one is about Paris. Anyway we got home safe and sound.

The first of my many adventures abroad.

I’ve also been told that they have the most incredible fireworks of perhaps anywhere else in the world, on New Year’s Day. Families spend hundreds of dollars on fireworks for the occasion!

and I’m offering the following proverb from Iceland which I just ran across:

It is difficult to steal when the boss is a thief.

Funny thing is, it’s really applicable to business in the USA, too, no?

Canadian Butter Tarts

I’ve never had one, or heard of them, but apparently Butter Tarts are a Canadian tradition. I ran across this old(ish) recipe and it sounds too good not to make some day, and I thought I’d share. What are some of the traditional recipes where YOU are from?

Apparently a national (Canadian) contest in the 1970’s concluded that these butter tarts were the best. They/the recipe is originally from Wilkie’s Bakery in Orillia, Ontario.

Notes that I’ve seen on this and other Butter tart recipes may seem self evident but as I am one of those cooks that is still learning, I know that lots of things that seem self-evident to experienced cooks really aren’t always clear to we neophytes. So here’s the note: One cannot use margarine to make butter tarts!

Butter Tart Ingredients

* pie pastry (enough to fill 16 muffin cups, your own or from a mix)
* 1/2 cup raisins
* 1/4 cup soft butter
* 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
* 1 pinch salt
* 1/2 cup corn syrup
* 1 egg, lightly beaten
* 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Prepare muffin pans by rolling out pie dough and cutting 4-inch (approx) circles; fit dough circles into muffin cups; set aside in fridge until ready to fill.

In a small bowl, place raisins and cover with hot tap water; let stand on the counter for 30 minutes.

In a large bowl, using a wooden spoon, mix together the soft butter, brown sugar, salt and corn syrup; stir well until sugar is dissolved and butter is creamed.

Add egg and vanilla and mix well.

Drain raisins.

Retrieve tart shells and divide raisins equally into all shells; then divide butter mixture into all tarts.

Bake at 400F for 15-20 minutes; filling will be lightly browned but still bubbling.

Canadians fall into two camps about butter tarts and are quite loyal to their favourite type: runny or firm.

The runny type dribbles when you bite into one; if you like firm, bake them for the full 20 minutes, even adding another minute or two if you wish.

Let cooked butter tarts cool in pans for 10 minutes after removing from oven; then remove and place on racks until completely cool.

Makes 16.

{If you make these from this recipe, I’d love to know what you thought!}

I thought it would be worth while taking a few moments to restate the purpose of Sharing Circle. The basic idea is to get people from all over the world talking about their way of life, memories, what they like, what they dislike, hobbies, interests, hints, tips, movies, questions for others etc. Almost anything in fact!

We live in what seems to be such a divided world. Between isolationism and insularity you’d perhaps wonder if we had anything at all in common. Well… we do. And much more than you might think. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the differences between us should one wish to do so, but at the same time we should also be celebrating the similarities. As Sharing Circle’s tag line says…

We’re all in this together.

… and the sooner people realize that the better it will be for all of us. Nationality is nothing but an accident of birth. We are all human beings first.

We get a lot of visitors browsing through the articles here but there’s not enough people getting involved. It doesn’t matter what you post about. Someone somewhere will enjoy reading it.

So stop just sitting there and join in!

Last year I went to a yard sale and bought a birdhouse that was high in the air on a pole and the sellers could not get it down.  I went ahead and paid for it and they told me to come back in a few days and they would have it ready for me.  When I went back no one was home and the bird house was still up in the air.  I left a note on the garage door and was headed back to my car when I saw a woman going to her mailbox across the street.  She started walking toward me and so I met her half way.  She began by telling me that the woman that had lived in the house where the sale was had died of cancer several months ago and that her grown children were having the sale.  She shared with me what a good neighbor the woman had been and how they were able to talk and share because they both had cancer.  She opened up and talked with me about being in her early fifties, that her cancer had advanced and the doctor had told her several months ago that she would be dead within six months. 

She explained how hard she had fought the disease, how tired and weary she was.  She said she hated to leave her granddaughter.  She told me how it hurt her that her granddaughter had pulled away from her in these last months.  The little girl was only ten years old.  I asked her if she thought this young child was simply protecting herself from the great loss she was going to have to face.  We talked as though we had known each other forever and were grateful to see each other one more time, but in the world’s view we were utter strangers.

I told her how glad I was that she was not alone to face the coming days and she said she was so grateful for her husband and family.  I explained that I was not talking about human beings at all.  I told her of the glow that was in her distressed and shrunken body that lit up the very place where she stood.  I told her that I could see God in her and that she was surely being held in His arms. She told me she had asked in prayer to know if it what she felt was visible.  Her tears flowed as mine did because we knew we were brought together that very day against the odds to be blessed by meeting each other and experiencing God’s love.  We hugged as hard as two people can, knowing that it would be not only the first time we met but the last.

I will never forget her or her testimony to me or the Light within her that was not of this world.  How could I ever forget?

_________

Thanks for sharing, Terri. What an amazing conversation that must have been!  Have others experienced similar moments?

They also had gatherings that were called something like “teaching circles,” where the younger people in the community could come together and ask questions of the elders and receive their teachings. I believe that too is one of the reasons that this website exists. I hope that people of any age will feel free to ask questions here and to speak their minds, and that the community will give them thoughtful responses, just they would have received in a Native American circle.

We are all in this life together and to my mind there is a great deal that we can learn from the teachings, philosophies, and traditions of first nation people.

All are welcome here at this sharing circle, I am sure. Young, old, and any nation of origin. Share whatever you like…that’s the whole point!