Sharing Circle

I have been thinking lately about the way that certain things that people say sometimes stick in our minds for a lifetime, and wondering about the reasons why that is so. I have also for professional and personal reasons been thinking a lot about children for some time now. Studies have shown that what people – even strangers – say to children and their parents can actually make a big, positive difference in their lives. A personal memory of mine points to just such a thing.

For some reason I remember very little about my childhood whatsoever, but the following little snippet stands out. I was about 8 or 9 years old. All I know for sure is that I was in, I think, the fourth grade. A man who was at my school, put his hand on the top of my head one day in between classes, which was a little strange. I said something to him like “why are you doing that?” (I may have tried to move out from under his hand as well and he didn’t let me; I have never liked to be touched by strangers.) I don’t know who he is or was, I am pretty sure he was not directly one of my teachers. Obviously he worked at the school in some capacity.

And then came the money quote. Whoever he was, he grinned down at me and he said:
“I was just checking to see if you feel on the outside as smart as you are on the inside!”

And then he let me go and I scampered off.

According to my mother, the whole school had just taken tests (which I don’t remember at all) as part of a study into IQ levels. They told her at the time that I scored among the very highest in the whole county. A lot has happened since then in my life of course, and I am well aware that if I were to be tested today that my IQ would not be as high on the charts as it might have been then. (Head trauma will do that to you!)

But what I do know is that those few small words from that man seeped its way into my heart, and became part of my self- esteem. “I’m smart!” – partly as a result of what this man said- became part of my idea of who I am. Those few small words this man spoke to me (more than thirty years ago now!) changed my life. And he doubtless forgot completely that he had said that to me a few minutes after it was over. And I don’t even know who he was. But I was forever changed for the better as a result. He is part of the reason why I was able to think of myself as intelligent, which was a gift that helped get me through some traumatic times indeed.

The point, of course, is that we all have the power to do for children that we know or that we come across what that man did for me. We may never know when we have given someone a priceless gift like that man did for me, or when we have permanently changed someone’s life for the better.

But one thing is for sure. If we don’t make a point to speak kindly to children or their parents when we have the chance, we will not make such a difference. The thing is, it is worth the effort. I will forever be grateful to that man, whoever he was.

YUM!

I wanted to quickly share a meal that a lot of people may not have ever had, (particularly most Americans) which my British friends and family taught me about.

Sometimes, particularly in restaurants, this is served with sausage and tomato. It’s inexpensive and surprisingly good, filling, and with plenty of protein. See ingredients and the simple how-to on the flip. (more…)

About God.
To pray and know He heard, that His presences was a constant and that only
we could turn away….He never would.
That He loved us as we were, but called us higher to become more.

Mother taught us:

To never go to sleep angry.
That things done right took no longer than things done wrong. (more…)

I Remember….
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When the seasons are about to change and Fall and Winter are on their way; when the school bells chime and the buses are out in full force, I can expect that my thoughts will return to my home in the mountains and memories of long ago.

It was a cold, blustery night and the snow was beginning to come down. At 6:00 pm it was already dark. Daddy was not home yet but we had already eaten dinner. It was good to be inside where it was warm. I was about five years old. Things were quiet in our house. My sisters were doing homework and Mom was cleaning the kitchen. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was seldom that someone came to the house after dark. Mom turned on the porch light and there was a man and three little girls at the door. (more…)

We were going on vacation. I was only ten years old but I can remember the days of preparation and packing that Mother did. We were headed to the high mountains in West Virginia. It would be a long and winding five hour trip. We were going to rough it and stay in a “cabin” that one of my Dad’s friends was loaning us. We would bathe in the river (we could use Ivory soap so that it would float so we wouldn’t lose it). There was no heat in this place so oil lanterns and a wood stove would have to do. I couldn’t wait! It sounded like such an adventure to me. Dad said maybe one night we could sleep on pine needles that we would gather and we would name the stars. (more…)

One of the most profound things that was ever said to me in college came from a Dr. Jim Lyle.  He was a theatre and directing professor who was one of the best teachers I ever had. I remember asking him whether he thought that people across the world and from different cultures, religions and such, had more things in common, or more differences.

(more…)

Tumbled Dalmatian Jasper

For some reason, I’ve been a collector of stones since I was a little girl. I remember playing in my front yard and finding a glittery piece of what I now know was just quartz, but it seemed to me to be a huge treasure. I took it to show my dad and he said something like wow, what a treasure, and we made a secret treasure box out of a shoe box for me to keep my stones in. I probably had fifty stones in that thing before the end of the week, all of them not very remarkable. So I don’t know what it was that attracted me to rocks and stones from a very young age. (more…)

It had rained all day and I was restless, pacing back and forth and going from room to room. I was wondering why, if foster parents were needed so badly, we had not been called for a placement.

The ringing phone interrupted my thoughts. A social worker was calling because they needed a home right away for two school age children. She said she realized we had said we would only take one child to begin our journey into foster care but this was a brother and sister and since they would be in school all day would I please take both? (more…)

We had moved into a new neighborhood in West Virginia several years ago. We had bought a nice two story brick home and a backyard full of trees. We were excited to have moved closer to the job my husband, Jeff, had transferred to. We didn’t know what we were in for.

I had a couple of garage sales, usually one in the fall and another in the spring. I thought nothing of it. It was a way to get rid of stuff the kids had outgrown and have money to shop for them again. (more…)

Rancho de Chimayo

Many years ago (1973 to be exact) I was temporarily living in the US with my parents while my father was working over here. I was 18 and we had the opportunity that summer to travel around a little. We were living in Oklahoma City at the time so our trip basically included exploring Texas and New Mexico. Although I enjoyed Texas it was New Mexico that really stuck in my mind as I think it did with all of us. (more…)